By Mary Molloy Blackstock ’26 (DCI Fellow)
We live in an age where the majority of communication no longer happens face to face. When we relegate important conversations to online platforms, eliminating all elements of nonverbal communication, something essential is lost. Without tone, body language, or eye contact, our words quickly become harsher, our empathy minimized.
Earlier this semester, I served as a facilitator for a DCI D Team centered on immigration policy. I was nervous, anticipating the deliberation would mirror the unproductive, unyielding, and sometimes cruel discourse I had seen online. Instead, I was struck by how easily the participants found common ground.
During the reflection portion, one of the participants raised the question of online vs in-person political conversation. Another brought up Yik Yak, an anonymous posting platform used on Davidson’s campus. While often discussed, it’s hard to grasp just how polarizing interactions become when you strip away names, or even just faces.
Would these same D Team participants, who come from different backgrounds and lived realities, have found commonalities if the same deliberation had taken place on Yik Yak? Instagram? Facebook? If you’ve ever looked at a comment section on any of these platforms, you’ll come to the conclusion that it’s very unlikely.
In deliberation, disagreement still arises. Oftentimes, though, it only comes after a foundation of shared understanding has been laid, whether that’s through a mutual interest in Marie Antoinette (true story) or something deeper, like a shared concern for the future of your community. That order of common ground first, disagreement second makes all the difference. When we begin by recognizing what brings us together, we’re able to approach what divides us in a much more graceful and constructive manner.
We all hold opinions that depart from the mainstream, but we also all hold others that conform to it. Remembering that balance can be a powerful place to start.
Ultimately, deliberation is important because it reminds us of our shared humanity. At the beginning of each D Team session, we review the DCI’s ten key deliberative dispositions: values like empathy, respect, and open-mindedness, to name just a few. Each serves as a reminder of what makes genuine, productive deliberation possible. Online, disagreement and cruelty often come naturally. But when you’re looking into someone’s eyes as you speak, empathy and open-mindedness come far more easily.
Participating in intentional, structured deliberation reveals that in person, it’s often much harder to find points of conflict than it is to find shared ground.
In a time when public discourse so often feels fractured and impossible, deliberation serves as a much-needed model for how things could be different. Deliberation reveals that when people are given a space to listen and be listened to, the divides that seem insurmountable online can still be bridged.
When you’re staring at a screen, it’s easy to forget that there’s a person just like you on the other side. Across a table, it’s impossible to ignore.
