Family gatherings are a time for family, love, connection, and, for some, dread. They can also be accompanied by a sense of worry or fear or arguments about political or controversial subjects. Time spent with family can be stressful in a situation that intensifies quickly. Even something as simple as a small comment can cause an uproar of emotion for someone else at the gathering. It may feel daunting to approach these conversations as emotions run high and feelings are cast out into the open.
Imagine a gathering where a family member decides to discuss the recent election, something that has been highly contentious in the past few months. Their point of view is made very clear, simultaneously creating upset among your other family members. You may respond angrily out of frustration, furthering the tensions and anger that have accumulated during this particular conversation. What this particular family might not be thinking about is how their backgrounds affect their opinions. In the case of this proposed family argument, you might not be considering your family member’s emotions that could have led them to their opinion. Someone’s age, gender, race, sexuality, or geographic location might affect their opinions on political topics such as the election. For these reasons, I propose the idea of storytelling.
While this may seem like an insignificant concept, storytelling provides people the space to share their experiences in hopes of forming a connection or understanding with others. A crucial element of storytelling is keeping an open mind toward those who are sharing their story. The ability to understand and connect with someone is preceded by a willingness to hear them out. This acts as a stepping stone to creating a safe environment where tension is cast aside. In the example of a family argument, taking a step back and asking about your family member’s reasons for the opinion they have expressed invites storytelling and helps you move away from an unproductive exchange.
How might you approach storytelling? Starting with a simple “Can you tell me more?” can get the ball rolling toward a productive conversation. Following up with more questions about their story and concluding with “Thanks for sharing” can create a safe space where people feel comfortable sharing their stories and reasons behind their opinions. With this in mind, remember that your open-mindedness may help create a calm and welcoming environment for discussion, even on topics that might feel daunting.
Once a connection is established through storytelling, empathy can begin to form. Although disagreements may remain, there is now the possibility of finding common ground between backgrounds and ideologies. For instance, if your family member grew up in the same town as you there is more room for connection through the geographical aspect of your lives. You would then be able to understand how your hometowns might have affected your opinions or beliefs. The human connection between similar backgrounds, regardless of political opinion, allows for empathy through understanding of one’s situation. A sense of community is formed, given storytelling’s ability to bridge the gap between political disagreement. A deeper understanding of one’s background provides a bond between people through mutual understanding of different circumstances. Furthermore, a demonstrated willingness to listen allows the storyteller to trust their audience. This sense of community promotes trust in others, even if everyone’s beliefs are not in complete alignment.
The ability to disagree and feel a sense of trust with others is not mutually exclusive. The DCI seeks to empower students through this community of trust. The DCI also seeks connection between all who chose to participate by promoting inclusion and understanding between its participants. The use of storytelling promotes those values held by the DCI through the establishment of common ground and understanding within a group of people.
